» Golf addict
Daniel Frickelton launches our guide to the county’s finest golf courses with a round at West Chiltington
Welcome to the mad but irresistible world of Golf Addict. In these lines you will explore local Sussex golf courses, reviewed by local amateur golf fanatics.
Here you will also find solace and surcease of sorrow in your pursuit of golf perfection. All right, then… how about the occasional good laugh in lieu of perfection?
If you are incapable of laughing about anything related to golf you probably shouldn’t hazard a visit to West Chiltington GC, near Storrington in West Sussex. You will need to find a stray chuckle, or at least a tolerant smile, to take the acid out of the grumpy old member who was preparing to tee off from the 10th as we made our way to the adjacent 1st, apparently straying slightly off the cart path, narrow as Kate Moss’ waist, as we did. "They provide a path to follow, you know!", he growled menacingly as his playing partners began looking around for something to crawl under. Quite right too, old bean! Have a great round, then!
You will need to find a few more guffaws of glee and pleasure as you make your way through the front nine. If you are a member of the 70% club (a slicer, that is) or tend to duck hook it off the tee, you may need to dedicate a few hours of structured exercise of your laughter muscles before commencing these leafy, gorgeous, but narrow, fairways. Even if you bust one right up the middle you will be laughing, so bring a few extra golf balls and exercise, exercise…
Speaking of which… West Chilts is a beautiful downlands course rewarding those who can find fairways and who fancy a nice and satisfyingly testing walk in the downs. There are, of course, motorised carts available for hire at very reasonable rates, but what is the point of wasting an excellent walking opportunity and a half dozen golf balls? There have got to be compensations for addicts.
Although there are no water hazards to speak of – the ditches crossing several of the first nine are usually dry – there are loads of trees lining most of the fairways, and the bunkers are bound to get in your way now and then. The first is a nice looking hole, with an elevated tee and reasonably wide fairway. There is trouble to the right in the form of trees, hedge and OB. Slice it and you will be three off the tee. About 250 yards ahead lies the first of several fairway ditches, waiting with gaping jaws to swallow up faint-hearted drives. If you don’t regularly carry 250 with your driver, leave it in the bag. Your second shot will be no more than a six iron. There is also the option of hitting it with anything that will make it fly straight for you: from the tee box the fairway runs steeply downhill, so if you connect with the ball at all it is bound to roll 150 yards downhill.
"You may need to dedicate a few hours of structured exercise of your laughter muscles before commencing these leafy, gorgeous, but narrow, fairways"
For similar reasons, ladies will also love the par 3 third. Even a poorly struck shot will leave you with a manageable second shot onto the green. Most of us amateur addicts tend to take too little club on shorter holes, but if you do get lucky and get a real piece of the ball, there is a very real danger of your ball running off the back of this slick, tilting green. Your second shot will then be from deep grass in a ditch, up a steep slope… just get it on the green first time, or leave it short, all right?
The view from the 8th tee is quality golf porn. When you have torn yourself away from these signature downland views, a wide, forgiving fairway invites you to get out the big stick and bust the jacket off the little white fella. This challenging 462 yard par 4 (par 5 off the reds) will require a well struck drive and a long, accurate second shot.
Too much for most addicts, admittedly, and even if you are lucky enough to put your second shot near the green, two Carnoustie style pot bunkers lurk hungrily, ready to devour any ball straying sideways across this left-to-right sloping fairway. I don’t know if the locals have names for their bunkers. If not, they may want to consider calling these two The Bull’s Bollocks.
Awaiting you on the 19th, as you drag your trolley, stiff-backed, stiff-faced (from all that laughing and smiling) towards the clubhouse, is a friendly bloke serving the cold drink of your choice and a terrace from which you can enjoy one of the most magnificent views anywhere, especially late in the day. Think lush greens, trees and fairways framed by our meltingly beautiful South Downs. Throw in a bit of pearl-salmon evening sun and now you will surely be laughing at that surly old git from the first tee. I reckon you will also be back for more. We will.
West Chiltington Golf Course
Broadford Bridge Road
West Chiltington, W Sussex, RH20 2YA
T: pro shop 01798 812115 for tee booking
W: www.westchiltgolf.co.uk
Rating: 3 - High Balls
5 = Great Balls O’ Fire
4 = Ball Buster
3 = High Balls
2 = Blue Balls
1 = Pinballs
If you would like Daniel to review your golf club or comment please email golf@thelatest.co.uk
